I was born in Tajikistan, Dushanbe. I had the most perfect childhood that any child could ever imagine. All seemed great, until the civil war broke out. Little by little things began to change and life wasn’t as “magical” anymore. I remember reading my mother’s beautifully highlighted recipe book, but had to flip through the pages, because the ingredients called for eggs and sour cream, which were suddenly a luxury. I remember my brave mother staying in a crowded line, of other brave mothers, being pushed around, just to get a loaf of bread for a week. I remember when refugees were let into our neighborhood and were allowed to just walk into anyone’s apartment that was vacant. I remember when my parents had to make a continuous choice to move to the promise land to give my two older siblings and myself the perfect opportunities and religious freedom. The lady at the airport security asked for our baggage , my parents holding us tightly said, “This is our baggage! As long as we can take them out of here, that is our BLESSING.” I can only imagine how scared they were for the unknown. I’m forever grateful to them for the sacrifices they made and the life style they blessed us with. As I’m sure most of you can relate to.
I was 9 years old, on May 1994, when we started our new life in the promise land. Walking into stores with shelves full of food felt like you’re in a dream. Unfortunately, my parents didn’t have the prestigious jobs they left behind and the luxuries we were used to, but we had each other. From a young age my parents instilled in us the values and morals of being a giving and an honest person. My mother always said, “If you want to be happy in life, always be honest; and don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want to be done to you.” While my father always said, “Don’t worry about anything, all we need from you is to focus on your education and be successful, because knowledge is power!” I skipped 4th grade and was placed straight into 5th in my new NY school. I was teased and bullied by so many children simply because I was an immigrant. I didn’t have the words, or friends who spoke my language to explain to my teacher what was happening; and when I would gesture, the children denied making me look like an idiot. I remember feeling hurt and lonely. However, with each passing day it taught me resilience, and to bounce right back. It taught me that I’m here to learn, because “knowledge is power.”
I graduated high school with honors and entered Queens college where I met my husband in my first semester. From the moment he met me he told me, “You’re gonna be my wife! My wife has to keep a kosher home, wear skirts, and go to mikvah.” I laughed at him, wishing him luck! I never wore skirts, and never heard what mikvah was (little did I know I would be preaching about it one day). My undergraduate and graduate degree was my priority at that time. I was not planning on getting married, as that meant to start a family and have kids. To scare him off, I said “I’m not planning on having kids for at least 5 years.” That was in May of 2003. He promised me he would never pressure. We eventually got married in 2005. In 2007, I graduated Lehman college with a master’s degree in Speech and Language Pathology. I finally got a job, took a deep breath, and we were so excited to start our family, but unfortunately, we had trouble conceiving for 6 months. It was not until May of 2008 that I found out (on mother’s day) that I’m expecting. Wow! I thought, how powerful are our words. It was exactly 5 years from May of 2003!
We wanted to have more children right away, however the second time around, our luck was not so simple. We thought it’ll probably take a few months and we’ll be blessed again. However, weeks turned into months. Months turned into years. We seeked help from every professional out there, we tried acupuncture, different treatments, dietary changes, we went to every doctor anyone ever suggested, we tried it ALL, and still no answer. “Unexplained infertility” was all I heard for the next 9 long years. While everyone looked forward to Simchas, events and gatherings, I always prayed that I don’t breakdown into tears and make a fool out of myself while hearing the most piercing question that became the norm. “So! Did you have another one?!” I know they meant well, but it was so heartbreaking. Hearing the same question over and over at work place from daycare providers was also not easy. I remember, I would leave the patient’s home with a smile, and the second the door shut behind me, I would burst into tears. Sobbing my way back to the car. Tears of despair and loss of hope. Yet again, my childhood resilience helped me get through it.
I started to grow spiritually, and took so much upon myself, I transformed my whole way of life. At which point, someone dear to me said, stop with all your religion, yes Gd is here for you, but go get the medical help. There’s nothing like science. This was the other advice everyone thought was very important to share. Little did she know, I was quietly running from doctor to doctor and trying all sorts of fertility options with failed results. I continued to grow spiritually and became a part of a community. I started meeting people with bigger problems. I realized how blessed I was with what I did have. I chose to turn my tears of despair into tears of hope, and sighs of distress into sighs of comfort and joy to others. I started paying forward, my time and knowledge, to those less fortunate than I was. Somehow, I became the 411 of the community and we began to create tehilim groups, Challa bakes, lectures, family purity classes, which ultimately changed my whole being. I started taking positive thinking classes with Rachel Shaool. The classes really taught me to seek Gd and see him in everything on daily basis. I am so greatful to her, for teaching me the tools to gain Emunah. I joined the movement of participating in the building of the Brirwood mikvah https://vimeo.com/342332532/ae743cf6d1 (I share my miracle in this video). We traveled to Israel, and received a blessing from every tzadik we were blessed to meet with.
Then we met two Rabbis in two different parts of the world who blessed us with the same blessing, “by collecting money, and feeding the children of a talmid chacham, H’ will bless you with your own children to feed.” I was so desperate, I was ready to do anything just to have another child. We took upon ourselves to start sewing classes with a purpose. The money raised would go to the family in need. With the help of the family and the community, Bh we were able to make a difference for those families. The more we helped, the more it gave us purpose. The more we helped, the more We felt Gd helping us. We realized there are no coincidences in this world, there is only Hashem.
After all these years of spiritual growth and tribulations, on Chanukah of 2017, we were finally blessed with the best news!!! It was on the Holiday of Miracles, the Holiday of Lights, that we found out that we are expecting!!! Our miracle of light was born on Hodesh Elul -which is a Jewish month of renewal. We promised we will continue paying it forward staying true to our mission of looking after his children, so he can look after ours. Two years later, on Chanukah of 2019, we found out we are expecting again! Another Elul baby! This gave us strength to keep on going even stronger!! As a result, the non-for profit organization ALL ABOUT KINDESS was founded in Elul 2021! With the vision to continue making this world a better place with one random act of kindness at a time!
ALL ABOUT KINDNESS FOCUSES ON SPREADING LIGHT, EMPOWERING, AND GIVING HOPE TO THE STRUGGLING FAMILIES, SINGLE MOMS, LONELY ELDERLY, HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS, ORPHANS, CHILDREN AND FAMILIES BATTLING ILLNESSES, AND COMMUNITY MEMBERS THAT ARE STRUGGLING.
ALL ABOUT KINDNESS PROVIDES HELP VIA FOOD DRIVES, SHABBAT, ROSH HODESH AND HOLIDAY MEALS, GROCERY SHOPPING, CLOTHING AND DAILY NECESSITY SUPPLIES, BACK TO SCHOOL DRIVES, PURIM BASKETS, CHANUKAH TOY DRIVES, TUTORING, AND MORE, SO THEY CAN ONE DAY LEAD PRODUCTIVE LIVES AND RETURN TO A NORMAL AND SAFE WAY OF LIVING.
AS WELL AS, PROVIDING RELIGIOUS OUTREACH TO ENCOURAGE LEARNING ABOUT THE JEWISH CULTURE AND FOSTER AN UNDERSTANDING AND APPRECIATION OF THE JEWISH CULTURE AND HERITAGE; IN ORDER TO EMPOWER THE FAMILIES TO BECOME STRONGER INDIVIDUALS IN EVERY ASPECT OF THEIR LIVES. PRAYING THAT THIS WILL HELP PREVENT THE FUTUTRE DOWNFALL OF OUR CURRENT GENERATION.
The current focus is to create an afterschool program to boost the children’s self esteem through their grades and empower them to be the future leaders of tomorrow. My mission is to create a LIFE SKILLS PROGRAM to help them gain skills such as self defense, cooking, sewing, and creating to be functional members of the community. Most afterschool programs are free of charge and are geared for public school children. My focus is to help the children of single parent homes, that are in a yeshiva, BH, not to fall behind but to excel and believe in themselves and know they are capable. In addition to provide ongoing social work and psychology services to prevent mental health issues in the future. We worry so much about how to help those that are in despair, I believe we need to invest time and energy to keep our kids so busy with chassed to prevent them falling into these problems to begin with.
If you have kids that would like to volunteer their time please reach out!!!!!
My other focus is raising awareness about infertility and connecting to the right resources. If you would like to join the next fertility workshop via zoom follow me on Instagram for details. @Lyuda_Mier; @All_About_Kindness_613
I am forever grateful to my parents for instilling in us the true values of Am Israel and sacrificing themselves to give us everything they knew how to. Above all, I am grateful to H” for all of my ups and downs, because I would have never been the person I am today!! Thank you H” for all of my abundant goodness.
I do want to mention, that If I can give hope to anyone, my message is to use those challenging moments as building blocks. Find Hashem despite the pain and feeling of betrayal. Although, at times it might seem impossible, and extremely painful, Hashem loves us and wants to bring out the best in us. It might not always be on our time, but it will definitely be on his TIME! And Don’t EVER think, any prayer is wasted. My journey opened doors for me that I would have never seen without this tribulation. The biggest lesson it taught me is that there are no coincidences, there’s only Hashem!!! En Od Milvado. It taught me the lesson of EMUNAH! It taught me that, nothing in this world is more powerful than the Almighty. There’s no doctor out there that will ever be able to accomplish anything without Hashem’s blessing. We have to do our job but the ultimate trust must be in Gd!!! It taught me to refrain from questioning and judging. It taught me to be sensitive to people’s pain. It taught me to see the individual and not the image the society painted for them. It taught me that one act of kindness can change someone’s world. We each can make a difference and make the world a much warmer and a happy place.
Thank you for Nominating me for this project! May we continue to help our children to step out of the IZONE and tune in to the world around us and be the source of light and inspiration to All.
To learn more about ALL ABOUT KINDNESS, INC follow the link https://www.allaboutkindness613.com